Quiet...ahhh :)

Our house is as quiet as a crypt this evening - and am I loving it, or what?

The kids, when they were young, always were encouraged to play in the lounge-room with all of us together.  We bought and renovated our first home so that, whilst their bedrooms were nice little sanctuaries for them to be safe and play if they wished, they were welcome to be in the main part of the house with us whilst we cooked and watched telly etc.  They usually took us up on it and enjoyed being all together in the same room.  We always had our bedroom very close to the lounge-room so that we could always see or hear the children playing if we had a lie down or were reading.

It used to frustrate and sadden me when I heard adults saying that they bought their son/daughter an expensive Lego set or something that needed putting together and told the kid to go off and play - and they played with it for three minutes before wanting their parent's attention again.  As if an expensive load of coloured plastic was going to, somehow, make up for time and patience and actually showing the child how to do something special with it. 

My husband used to collect the extra large Lego for our kids - Duplo it's called - from second-hand stores and flea-markets.  He'd bring it home and I'd wash every piece and dry them all and we'd add them to the boxes and crates-full we already had.  Then he would sit down on the floor with the kids and build sky-scrapers and trains and trucks and, after a trip to Paris, the Eiffel Tower.  The children learned valuable lessons in construction and creativity and they watched, in awe, as their Papa built these magical (and often working) structures.  We would photograph them before eventually pulling them apart for the next creation.

Now our kids are teenagers.  The last three nights we have spent hours laughing and watching together the outrageous British series The Inbetweeners.  We all developed six-packs from laughing so hard and it was a wonderful 'bonding' experience (don't know if I like that word as it's over-used - but, you get my meaning) as we all got a bit closer to the forbidden topic of sex...I thought it was great that they wanted to watch it with us - their mum and dad! (If you've seen it, you'll know what I mean).

But tonight it's quiet in our house, like a crypt.  My daughter (who turns 15 next month) is ensconced in her beautiful new bedroom (that she saved and paid for herself - over $2600) and my son (who is thirteen going on 17) is ensconced in his room listening to his music and playing games.  It's slightly odd, this quiet and the feeling that my husband and I are premature and sudden empty-nesters.  It won't last, of course, but it's good while it does last.  And I say that with all the love that a tofu-hearted mother can muster.  Because we have never allowed the kids to have TVs or computers or game consoles in their rooms prior to now.  We always cringed a bit when we saw friends' children with TV etc in their bedrooms at a young age - as if they encouraged the kids to go and be quiet and fixate on the box.  Not that we didn't encourage our own kids to be quiet sometimes; I often took an afternoon siesta when they were little or when I got home from work in the afternoon, later on when they were older.  I insisted on quiet and solitude for about an hour a day.  But they did it centrally in the house - not off in their own TV worlds or stuck on Play Stations.  The most they were allowed to have was a Gameboy each and a Tamagotchi to look after.  We tried to encourage reading (not always successful), playing outside, raising chickens, jigsaws and Lego.  We certainly didn't mind a few movies or TV shows being consumed - I teach English and Media so it goes without saying that I was mindful of their ability to be critical viewers. 

But tonight they are off in their own worlds.  And they are old enough to choose that if they wish.  I spent inordinate amounts of time in my room when I was 15 - reading, listening to music, writing - so I understand the need for solitude and the desire (sometimes overwhelming) to be private and alone.

I reckon we have brought them up to be themselves and to make good choices about their lives.  I enjoy the fact that they have wide and varied interests and, even though it may be a sign of things to come, I am really enjoying the crypt-like silence that this lovely early-autumn evening is bringing with it.  I love my kids - but I also hope there are a few more of these nights to come.